The Phone Call Didn't Phase Me
The positive trend continued today. I had two meetings today that normally would have caused me to break out in a sweat out of fear of being unprepared. I hate messing up and I am my own worse critic. I have high expectations of myself which causes me to stay under a constant stream of stress. Stress is exactly what I don't need right now. So I put things in perspective and decided not to turn situations into something bigger than they are. A meeting is a meeting. It is scheduled. So I need to prepare for it. After I do my best to prepare, I leave the rest to God. What I find amazing is the level of peace that fell over me as I prayed prior to going into my first meeting. I knew I had answers and all the documentation that was readily available. My paperwork was lined up, printed, and paper clipped.
Then my cell phone rang. The number looks familiar. Its not a saved number from my contacts list, but I recognize the number. It was my Ob/Gyn's office. "Ms. Joyner, we're calling to confirm your appointment for Thursday." I said, "Ok." Then there was a long pause. "Will you be coming to the appointment?" Duh! I guess she needed a yes or no answer. "Yes, I'll be there." "Ok," she said, "We'll see you at 10:30."
For about 4 minutes a wave of sadness fell over me. In a flash, thoughts of cancer, surgeries, and worse case scenarios filled my mind. I prayed again asking God for strength and replayed Mary J. Blige's song "Work That." I know that I won't always be this optimistic and my faith may waiver (read the blogs from last week) but I want to work through this storm. I want to live and I know that I will beat my diagnosis. There is something that I need to learn from this ordeal...not just how to deal with the cancerous cells in my body, but learning about fighting adversity, about conquering depression, about what it is to live...what it is to excel and succeed.
What is success?
Success is realizing the purpose of why God created you and operating in that purpose. I can't be overly concerned about the prognosis...I have a purpose to fulfill.
Then my cell phone rang. The number looks familiar. Its not a saved number from my contacts list, but I recognize the number. It was my Ob/Gyn's office. "Ms. Joyner, we're calling to confirm your appointment for Thursday." I said, "Ok." Then there was a long pause. "Will you be coming to the appointment?" Duh! I guess she needed a yes or no answer. "Yes, I'll be there." "Ok," she said, "We'll see you at 10:30."
For about 4 minutes a wave of sadness fell over me. In a flash, thoughts of cancer, surgeries, and worse case scenarios filled my mind. I prayed again asking God for strength and replayed Mary J. Blige's song "Work That." I know that I won't always be this optimistic and my faith may waiver (read the blogs from last week) but I want to work through this storm. I want to live and I know that I will beat my diagnosis. There is something that I need to learn from this ordeal...not just how to deal with the cancerous cells in my body, but learning about fighting adversity, about conquering depression, about what it is to live...what it is to excel and succeed.
What is success?
Success is realizing the purpose of why God created you and operating in that purpose. I can't be overly concerned about the prognosis...I have a purpose to fulfill.
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