Raising a Child On Your Own
God give me the patience and perseverance to continue to move forward....
I'm going to write the brutally honest truth about being a single parent. It is not easy. I don't care how much money you have, it is not easy. It's Sunday morning and Ty and I went to the 7:30am service at our church. We started off ok and Ty was sitting and being quiet. But as soon as the sermon started, it was chaos. He wanted to yell and scream because he wasn't doing whatever he wanted to do. I had to take him out of church twice. When I returned, I was so busy watching him and making sure he didn't tear up any hymnals that I couldn't enjoy the service. I don't have a clue what the sermon was about....something about Thanksgiving. And more often than not, this is how it is most Sundays.
Raising my son by myself is incredibly frustrating. I'm doing my absolute best to teach him and raise him on my own and I don't have a clue as to how to do it any better. You want to make sure you give them ample love but make sure you correct them. We have our good and bad days. But when the bad days seem to run consecutively, it gets to you. It really, really gets to you. You do your best just to hear criticism from others about what your child does or does not do. At 11am, he is n the bed taking a forced nap because I just can't take it. And as thankful as I am for the financial support that his father gives, picking him up 2 weekends a month (Friday night through early Sunday morning....because he won't take Ty to church with him) gives me some relief, but I need more. I'm not sure how being with your child the equivalent of 3 days a month qualifies as aiding in raising him. And when you're going through treatment for pre-cancer and are incapacitated, your calls for assistance are ignored and he lets you suffer through it on your own. I'm incredibly frustrated that my son is not potty trained at the age of 2 years and 7 months. Its embarrassing. But who does he have to emulate? Do I call my male friends and ask if they will let Ty watch them urinate? What exactly am I supposed to do? I'm realizing that a woman is not built to do this alone. Many have and have faced the same struggles and frustrations that I'm encountering. And I applaud them. But after you cry a while and you pray and ask God for endurance, what do you do?
Right now I'm crying so hard that the back of my throat is sore and my head hurts. This can be a very lonely place. And short of God manifesting himself in the flesh to help, I don't know how I will make it through the end of this day. I feel myself slipping into bad eating habits (the habit of not eating) and I'm mentally trying to force myself to accept food at this point. I'm not trying to just complain, but I have to get this frustration out of me. I feel so very alone in this process. And I have so much hurt in me that I have to let go.. Getting pregnant and having my son has been emotionally draining. How do I handle being told that I would have been asked to abort the pregnancy....after the child is born? I know i have to let this stuff go. I know I do...
I'm going to write the brutally honest truth about being a single parent. It is not easy. I don't care how much money you have, it is not easy. It's Sunday morning and Ty and I went to the 7:30am service at our church. We started off ok and Ty was sitting and being quiet. But as soon as the sermon started, it was chaos. He wanted to yell and scream because he wasn't doing whatever he wanted to do. I had to take him out of church twice. When I returned, I was so busy watching him and making sure he didn't tear up any hymnals that I couldn't enjoy the service. I don't have a clue what the sermon was about....something about Thanksgiving. And more often than not, this is how it is most Sundays.
Raising my son by myself is incredibly frustrating. I'm doing my absolute best to teach him and raise him on my own and I don't have a clue as to how to do it any better. You want to make sure you give them ample love but make sure you correct them. We have our good and bad days. But when the bad days seem to run consecutively, it gets to you. It really, really gets to you. You do your best just to hear criticism from others about what your child does or does not do. At 11am, he is n the bed taking a forced nap because I just can't take it. And as thankful as I am for the financial support that his father gives, picking him up 2 weekends a month (Friday night through early Sunday morning....because he won't take Ty to church with him) gives me some relief, but I need more. I'm not sure how being with your child the equivalent of 3 days a month qualifies as aiding in raising him. And when you're going through treatment for pre-cancer and are incapacitated, your calls for assistance are ignored and he lets you suffer through it on your own. I'm incredibly frustrated that my son is not potty trained at the age of 2 years and 7 months. Its embarrassing. But who does he have to emulate? Do I call my male friends and ask if they will let Ty watch them urinate? What exactly am I supposed to do? I'm realizing that a woman is not built to do this alone. Many have and have faced the same struggles and frustrations that I'm encountering. And I applaud them. But after you cry a while and you pray and ask God for endurance, what do you do?
Right now I'm crying so hard that the back of my throat is sore and my head hurts. This can be a very lonely place. And short of God manifesting himself in the flesh to help, I don't know how I will make it through the end of this day. I feel myself slipping into bad eating habits (the habit of not eating) and I'm mentally trying to force myself to accept food at this point. I'm not trying to just complain, but I have to get this frustration out of me. I feel so very alone in this process. And I have so much hurt in me that I have to let go.. Getting pregnant and having my son has been emotionally draining. How do I handle being told that I would have been asked to abort the pregnancy....after the child is born? I know i have to let this stuff go. I know I do...
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