Its amazing how your feelings seem to hide. Its almost as if you didn't know you had certain emotions until you are faced with a situation that exposes your true feelings. I had my follow up appointment today and started crying hours before I left. It was tough. I've gone through this so many times you would think that it's child's play. But I can't get "use" to this. My doctor, as always, made it easy for me. The conversation was light and friendly as usual. We caught up on all my happenings. She noticed that I was down and I admitted that I am. I realize that I have to...I have to make some changes in my life. I have to find some outlets, work less, and relax more. I'm getting burned out and running myself ragged. I had an entire work off from my primary job just to spend all my time working for my client. I can't keep doing this. I feel miserable and all these emotions are translating to mean that I'm not taking care of myself. I've gained 10lbs. within the last 45 days. I've prayed earnestly, asking God to show me what way to go. When I return to work in a few days, I'll be working a straight 12 days due to our mandatory work schedule. I'm debating whether I'll do more work tonight or just finish up tomorrow morning. I realize that there has to be a balance between work and quality of life. I don't want to be one of those people with prolonged health issues due to stress. And I don't want the test that I took today to show positive for cancer or pre-cancer because I didn't take better care of myself. Starting December 31, I'm committing to living my life differently. I'm setting boundaries for myself, boundaries that put my interests and health first. I can't live like this anymore.